Just lucky, but a bit of background: You never meet anyone seriously in Korea without an introduction - match makers are serious business and the eligible pool shrinks as more get married off in generations - and families are involved and the Western ideas of a cool pick up line and exchange of telephone numbers or such don't really ring true. Jane Pauley came to Seoul for the Olympic coverage and mistakenly walked into a room of Korean men and not one of them paid any attention to her - she hadn't been introduced, they didn't know her marital status, family name, education level, position in life (the highest is to be the Mother of the son with the future of the family fortune) to them she didn't exist. That was so cool, and I like her and her husband for various reasons.
Anyway, I was told by one of the guys in my unit that I should come to his place and meet a young lady, and she was told by a friend that she should come to the same place and meet me. And that happened - we met. That is the story and the rest is life and couldn't be better.
Of course there was that time her sister was coming to visit her and she didn't want to spend any time with me, so when I saw her and hollered at her she took off running and I chased her (I thought I was fast in those days) but she got into the village and the maze of streets and I had no idea, why she ran or where she went.
And another time I wanted to see her and the gate was locked to the house where she rented a room, and I went through that gate like a hot knife through butter and the homeowner asked me later how I had done that, I demonstrated and he fixed half his security problem (I would always be the other half).
And then there was the time that I had duty on base and couldn't leave, and she knew it and arranged to beat up another woman that had been bothering her - probably one of her best fights, since everyone that knew us came back and told me about it. Violence in defense of self and pride was just fine in those days, I fought and she fought and once in a while we fought each other (passionately but not disabling nor deadly). Oh, the woman that she beat up, was the one that introduced us.
When she came to the United States to marry me, leaving all she knew and loved save me behind - try that fearless women! She was on an aircraft with a bomb, and waiting to get off almost two hours, while everyone on the aircraft and the at the airport weren't told what the problem was... breaking news, not!
Her biggest worry about the new marriage wasn't me, it was her future mother-in-law, which have the status in Korea of being terrible (read wicked witch of the East) until the new bride produces a baby boy and learns how to smooth Mother-in-law's ruffled feathers about keeping the house. Normally, first son's wife moves in with groom's parents, slowly changing but not for most Koreans. Which drove my mother, who so wanted to be friends with her children's spouses, and couldn't get close to my wife, who would get sick every time we would visit them, or they would visit us - tension is a terrible thing.
My brother got real close to upsetting me, he called my wife "Yobo" because he heard me calling her that, and that was fighting words - her name was Kum Cha and only I get to call her "Yobo" which means something like Darling or Dearest and is used between serious Korean couples and GI pidgin (if they never learn the language they make it up).
And one of her birthdays I gave her a most beautiful, meaningful and wonderful present - three silk scarfs, and she wouldn't talk to me all day. She had that long black hair and I had picked those perfectly and she wouldn't touch them after she saw what they were, and she wouldn't look at me and wouldn't talk to me. I was dead meat and didn't know why.
I was persistent and patient and worked at that mute woman all day, and she finally said "Do you really want me to leave?" and I said NO! She then told me that in Korea when you wanted to get rid of the girl friend, or second wife or unwanted but socially attached woman you gave her silk and she took off to the unknown to buy some land with it and support her since you have just terminated the relationship. Must not have had enough lawyers in the old days, I actually saw a Prince, in one of the Historic Serials we watch, send his consort away carrying her gift of silk.
So you see, it is exactly like I said at the beginning - I was lucky, or just really blest.
6 comments:
Nice story, Earl. Thanks.
Both Earl- Lucky to meet her, blessed to still be with your wife. Communication is hard when people are from the same country, communicating across both country and language differences means y'all do that very well!
Great story; thanks for sharing it with us.
Yes Alex, I'll take both for 1000$
Lucky and blest indeed....
All love stories are remarkable in heir own way, but yours is richer than most. Thank you for sharing - I bet Kum Cha thinks herself lucky and blest too.
To add at this late point to your story, I remember when I met Kum Cha. I was walking into our parents' home after a day of high school (I was a junior). She walked up to me, and we hugged. The only problem was that I was wearing boots with 2 inch heels and she was shorter than I normally, so my first impression was that this was awkward. I really loved her beautiful long hair; it went all the way down her back and looked so lovely. I understand why she eventually had it cut, but the memory still stands out. She's a wonderful woman, Earl.
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