Monday, February 9, 2009

I don't seem to be right for the job...

I missed a meeting with the Associate Superintendent for Programs, I had thought she was off the island and wouldn't be back the remainder of the month, the last was correct, but after Tuesday not today. The work day went well until a young looking felon started acting up in the evening, accusing one of my workers of yelling at him, then wanting me to do stuff for him, some of which I did, some of which I told him he could have if he wanted an ILL, that I could find the album that way. He came back wanting the information so he could buy the album, and I told him I wasn't going shopping for him. He got loud with me and I became tired of working with his handicap, and wasn't doing anything for him so he got louder and told me that I had lied and tried to manipulate me to giving him what he wanted (I am not allowed to give him what he needed). But when he called me a liar I got angry and my blood pressure was cooking so I kicked the desk. Which gave him ammunition, now I was threatening him. I told him to go away and sit down, which he did, after I cooled off I tried to talk to him again - and it didn't work, he wasn't old enough to have a real conversation with. Children are easier to talk to than adults that never grow up. So I ordered him to report to the Corridor Officer and tell her that he was ordered out of the library. He tried to tell me that he couldn't do that, but I told him that I knew better and that he had to follow my instructions. He left and I got back to work, and an officer came in to follow up and asked. We cleared the library on movement and I continued to work and the next group came in and the young failure returned quietly and I didn't see him until I sent everyone out and tried to lock up. When I went by him in the hallway I told him not to come back to the library until his counselor says he can, I will tell his counselor tomorrow about his behavior. I am not a cop nor a snitch, but I am trying to keep a working library open for more than the young fool.

But as I left the prison under the beautiful Full Moon and Cold Dark Sky I kept thinking maybe I am not the person for the job - missing appointments failing to placate the irate ignorant... I might be better as a has been, failed again... too cold for motorcycling far enough away from fools trying to kill me with my own blood pressure. I am not worthy.

2 comments:

Jeffro said...

On the contrary, I'd say you were exactly right for the job. Anyone can have a bad day, particularly when pushed into one.

Your job seems to require a Herculean amount of patience, a commodity we all run short of at times, and most don't have in the first place.

threecollie said...

You are more than worthy. I could not do what you do. Most people couldn't