Wednesday, September 1, 2010

It is FEAR, stupid, the problem is the fear....

Just looking around and I heard that the economy isn't getting better fast enough, even the President's spending on his Oval office decor hasn't stimulated the economy enough, and the computer cave here may be overdue for a clean up and reorganization, Earl is not spending any money to do it. What has slowed the economy is fear, if you have work and a job you aren't sure that it will always be there. If you are currently un-employed you aren't sure you can get a job, the bankers aren't lending money from fears of no more bailouts and and bad loans might cost them. Investors aren't investing as much as normal, businesses aren't putting their profits back to work in growing bigger, hiring new employees or other improvements. Seems like everyone is waiting for the fear to go away.

An email conversation with someone about guns, and my idea we need to expand the safe sane experience, and his that a gun is dangerous and accidents with it can't be undone. In the end his fear of failure means that the government should get more control over how and when a person can use a firearm and that will make us all safer. He fails to realize the government already controls food, drugs, illegal drugs, immigration and terrorism - and the government seems to be only effective in controlling the law abiding, none of the insane, criminal, stupid or just a little foolish. If I get to increase the number of safe sane shooters I have done nothing to make the world more un-safe, Hurricane EARL is still out there, Mount Rainier is overdue and California can always slide into the Pacific.

It isn't in the news much anymore, but the idea that the government can make sex safer is as good as they can make a gun safer. The government can launch education efforts, monitor approved sexual activity between approved adults, and immediately all kinds of problems are gone. No more sexually transmitted diseases, no more HIV AIDS, no more unwanted pregnancy, only perfectly safe sane sexually activity. Yep, there are people no longer having sex, that wonderful phase on commercials "Check with your doctor to see if you are healthy enough for sexual activity." Could be there are lots of married folks no longer doing it, because the idea of someone dying during that moment of passion is a building fear not needed to be faced.

I recently feared that I had a mild heart attack, I can't jog gently, just wasn't enough air getting circulated and so I walked home. Rested, went back out days later and walked, some days vigorously, most days just sucking air. Something was wrong, I had coughing that wasn't caused by anything I could feel or find. So I went to my doctor, and he checked me and decided I had an allergy, gave me some medicine to take and told me not to have a heart attack. Well, I have a big strong heart, and a piece of it could die - I would expect it to keep pumping and it is. But I don't get all the oxygen to everywhere I want it to go, so is something restricting my air supply? What is wrong? -- I am sure I am going for a second opinion on the heart/lung thing, I just want to know. I watched Doctor OZ one afternoon, and he said creases in the earlobe are an indication that one could have a heart attack soon. I have a really great crease in each ear lobe - if I feared enough I would have to face it and go see another doctor, but I can cower at home and pretend it is going to go away (more fear of finding out and having to do something).

My wife and I tussle over her fears of my activities - when I was younger writing to other women was a potential point of contention - I got to stop writing to all of them. Sigh, more recently I was called by the NRA to find out if I would apply to instruct at a special NRA event for women in the Southwest. I was flattered and got the application together, letters of recommendation and such. I was ready to go, even if the State of Washington didn't need my services I still had something to contribute. Then my wife said "NO", and it was over, I don't need to go into all the reasons, but she was sure that it wasn't a good thing for me to do. As soon as she said no, I sent off my regrets about a previous engagement conflict, and waited for her to change her mind, she hasn't.

Today she started on my again, I think she feels my weakness, and decided it is time to discuss and get me to stop going out on the weekends to Appleseed shooting events away from home. There aren't any Appleseed events close to home, she likes me to make Sunday Church service and other husbands aren't like me.... I could go on, but when I leave the house - something could happen to me, I could fall asleep while driving long distances, I could get shot, I might have a heart attack at a distant motel and how would she go get the body, in the end all her fears are on the table and I ignore them at my peril - gosh, she could just kill me if I don't pay attention to her fears of my dying far away. The problem isn't the Appleseeds, but that activity feeds her fear of something bad, something that would make her strange or unloved by the community of her friends - whose husbands don't do those things.

Yep, fear is good if it makes you aware, but not if it freezes all positive activity, a little too much fear doesn't go a long way - it stays in focus in one's mind and builds...

1 comment:

Sailorcurt said...

You're absolutely right about the fear. It can be crippling and is having a profound effect on our society and economy right now.

You're in a tough situation at home. You are proving yourself an honorable man by giving your wife's concerns proper regard...however there's got to be some sort of compromise or common ground you can reach.

What's the point in continuing to breathe if you aren't allowed to live?

I'll be praying for you both, my friend. May God give you both the wisdom you need to find a workable compromise to this situation. Perhaps you could use some wisdom from your pastor? Just a thought.