I may never have mentioned it but...

I was broken by the end of the Vietnam tour, or molded into the fellow I fool the world with, doesn't matter about the carving me out of the boy and grinding me into a man, but I remain very interested in the military, history and arts of war and will. I follow most of the space combat, good fantasy adventures and techno-thrillers. I have followed Stephen Hunter since Master Sniper - love both Earl (my Name!) and Bob Lee Swagger (Robert E. Lee is one of my heroes) and in the 47th Samurai I find another Vietnam Vet that is sixty and still a dangerous old man - certainly more dangerous than I could ever claim to be - nice story, fairy tale ending, but nice story.

Jerry Pournelle answers a question about an Introduction he made to a David Drake book titled Hammer's Slammers. It is titled "Mercenaries and Military Virtue" and worth the read, but then I am not giving up my copy of that book. I hear rumblings that Andy Rooney doesn't see any heroes now in America, and I laugh knowing where they all are - and they aren't in the media circles that Andy hangs with, the celebrities and politicians of note (they aren't risking anything for others, are they?). Andy saw heroes, he knows they exist but knows the current culture tries to make them out fools and foolish -- the stuff of myth and legends - fairy tales. In the age of Reason one needs the Romantic, in the era of Romance only those ruled by Reason prevail... or something like that. The heroes are all out there, getting up every day to fight the dragons, to bring in the treasures, to risk it all for someone else, for others in need, for the fears before the deed. But when victory is in the number of dollars one has control of - there isn't a culture appreciating heroes - just the greedy grubbers that haven't been caught. Shame - less, and without Honor - not the stuff of my heroes.

Okay, the splash landing was the best...

I was impressed with the landing on the Hudson River, and more impressed that the pilot hasn't been all over television talking about it. My father was a pilot and made some of the softest landings I have ever had, in some of the finest farmland in America. But I was thinking that there are thousands of professionals in their work that could do it even when everything goes bad, and if they can't they still die trying to do it right.

I went to see Defiance today, a movie from a time long ago, and far away. Still, I liked the movie, and understand the critics - but then they never lived in a time when people die beside you, behind you and in droves, they haven't lived with the lie that being a Jew means you are inferior and won't fight, they haven't lived with the lie that hiding will keep you safe, which is as bad as the one that says fighting will keep you safe. I will have to try and read the book, because the movie doesn't tell me enough about the brothers and what they did to survive and save 1200, not an insignificant number when people are dying by the millions. Having studied some about resistance and guerrilla warfare I want to know about the tactics. I have laughed too long about the survivalists that I think have little training in combat operations, but then I could be wrong. I have been so before. And then they came to America and built a life and a trucking company?

Multi-tasking is for fools...

I have been trying to hold too much, and on the way with everything I try to pick up another thing to bring along and then drop half of what I was carrying and begin to start all over - piling it on, the first adaptation to stress, just pile more of it on. In the 82nd Airborne we were accustomed to juggling lots of priorities, and the only important thing about juggling - was knowing which of the balls were made of glass and which could bounce harmlessly. Nice thing about the procrastination pile, that is all stuff I don't want to do anything with right now... later when I have more time, no glass balls there.

Once a much younger and forward looking fellow (ME?) I stopped every Friday to work on my charts and accounts to figure out what my Networth was, and since I had been keeping paper Cash notebooks since 1969 I could tell you at any point what my dollar value was. Just reaching up on the bookshelves and pulling one down. Oct 1973 (year of the Yom Kippur War) I owed $9595.19 on my trailer, $2803.20 on my Buick, and $70 on my color television, I had $1,191.64 in savings and Savings Bonds. Every month after that the debt went down and the savings went up. Okay, that is a simplification, but I knew where I was and where I was going and could focus. On Fridays I started watching Wall Street Week with Louis Rukeyser as my host and guide into the world of investment. That was about the time I started my IRAs, for tax relief and future retirement, mainly the tax relief - until Congress started messing with it, reduction of my income by whatever my wife and I could put away (up to two grand apiece) was wonderful. My advice to the young, start early, add often and use dollar cost averaging and broad market. I will mention that I don't do that stuff now. I have figured out that I can't ever retire completely, that having some money means that the government automatically wants parts of it, that piece of the pie that they are sure someone somewhere needs more than my wife and I.

One of the things I dropped was that careful accounting of my networth, not really worth the time now. I am running out of time, falling apart physically and likely mentally. I went to the doctor and had my examination and got his best guidance and a new prescription - four days later, after the blood tests (that I haven't seen) came back his office calls and leaves a message that I should call them, I don't. I will stop and talk to the doctor, next Monday on my way to work, for it is easier to dream of chasing long legged redheads, and just smile about how much nicely my motorcycle slides through the traffic and our Sunny days, my son is going to be home that evening... Best do one good thing at a time, multi-tasking means I might miss that smile that will go into my tomorrow, and that would be a shame.

When up to your butt in alligators - please drain the

I was thwarted, the Corrections Sergeant wouldn't allow one of my inmate clerks to deliver F-unit (IMU and Seg) books without an escort - and wouldn't provide the escort. So I stumbled and the books sat in bins on the floor of the library for days. I wasn't smart enough to drain the swamp, I was looking at the alligators. I walked into the prison yesterday and went to the place and pulled the plug. I took the first of my clerks coming in from lunch and we went to F-unit, through the control gates, by all the cat calling cheerleaders on their way to chow (pay attention to me, please pay attention to me). Through the second interior set of control doors, sign in desk. We dropped off the books and grabbed a bin of returns to check in. It will work in the future, just don't tell my boss. My boss thinks that movements beyond the bookcases and chairs behind the desks are in the realm of impossibility and other fantasy worlds, for real professional librarians anyway.

It was an interesting day after, my three newest workers continue to amaze me with their immaturity and lack of knowledge and curiosity, we work on it. The experienced clerk asks, when it becomes obvious that my stress level is way up there and about to explode, isn't it a good thing that I don't bring a gun. That makes me laugh, I respond that all the children would want to touch it and see if it was anything like the pearl handled chrome Super deluxe that they remembered shooting sidewize.... just kids at play. When I really get upset I wish I had just enough C4 and detcord to take the library down properly - without any humans being harmed. A big enough bang would bring me back into focus and off of the alligators. I missed the inmate patron that stole the four brand new magazines from my desk in the library, he didn't want The Advocate, but the three Robb Report magazines were gone when I went to process them. Ah, did I forget I am in a prison where crime against the state and authority is honored, where they have nothing and everything over that makes them feel rich and blest? Looking at the alligators again aren't I? Look at the big teeth on that one!

Well, I don't read the Robb Report, I will never aspire to having that much money to throw around looking rich and cool. About thirty minutes after the theft was discovered another inmate walks in and gives me three new books worth about sixty bucks at our discount - donations to the library collection since he has read them. There is balance in the world, even my little one. I order more ILLs, check for the return of all the overdue notices for ILLs, all completed save one, and one that we never received that we will have to pay for, we will call on that one. I order a few more books for this month's book cart and answer email and put incoming book purchases into the catalog, thirty titles, we are always improving the collection. Library life is so much better than draining swamps, but I do miss those big at my control explosions.

Betterment Fund, my betterment or their's...

Seems that the Corrections Center at McNeil Island has spread that slimy criminal morality around, corrupting everyone. So, Ms. Accounting for the money? Don't you know only stupid people committ crimes in public? We thought we could trust the government, it isn't like the BIA Trust Fund accounting? Is it?

Ah, I shouldn't talk about stupid people, my Credit Union online banking service has locked me out of my account, again. It is for my protection and I only have to go to the Credit Union, during their open hours and talk to a real human being and bow fifteen times and plead with for mercy so I can get back online. I refuse. I am too stupid to be trusted with access to my account, through computers and cookies and their security systems - I know the high school I graduated from but I can't see what I typed - so did I hit the keys correctly? Only the computer gods know. So I write, six checks to spend my money, and seal and stamp five envelopes and I am a good citizen again. Without the online services of my Credit Union, for my own protection - actually it is for their protection isn't it? I really shouldn't talk about stupid people (me?), but should go bust some caps.