Procrastination will kill me, but I am not ready yet...

Doing my bills this morning, as I try to correct the yaw in my course - and I look at my annual percentage rate on one of my credit cards... yikes! I am paying that much! Take the beautiful card out, get the stainless steel scissors out and cut that bad boy into bits. Step one taken, sigh. No wonder there is a credit crisis - who could pay that much for so little -- besides me. Nevermind, the workday awaits and I have to exercise more than my checking account.

Cleaning up, the Procrastination pile...

I had about three months of Lotto tickets to check for winners. I have been buying tickets since 1994 and our arrival in Washington State. One ticket for Lotto and one for Quinto, twice a week. Yes, I do know that state sponsored gambling is the best form of taxation on the poor, it is always a punishment for the mathematically challenged, and it takes no skill to become a fool separated from his money on the false hope of untold riches, yes I do know. And I play anyway, seven cents on the dollar go to the store the machine is at, thirty-five cents goes to the State of Washington - and forget any promises that it was going to schools, education, school construction or other worthy programs a voter could get excited about - it will be in the General Fund and used anyway the current political leadership think it should be (because it was too much for the education system to absorb?)

They decided they needed more money - so they went with adding Mega Millions for a bigger prize in a combination of states, and they added one more daily drawing for Lotto and Hit 5 (which replaced Quinto since it sounded Mexican). Once I had them emailing me the winning numbers, so I could check immediately but that was in the days I was counting all my pennies and rolling them and adding them to the son's credit union account - the pennies and other coins from my jogs that I picked up. I don't count all the coins, not like the obsessed fool I was once, but I do still pick them up and roll them and put them in my credit union account. Another change is that I don't buy every ticket for every drawing, I just don't believe I will ever get the big one - it could happen but I don't have faith in the government's ability to randomly crown me King for a Day, or until they get their tax money and I squander the remainder. I just buy a ticket so I feel a part of the foolishness.

Anyway I am checking winners and putting the losers in the tax folder for off setting my big taxable winnings - if I ever win it. I end up with fifteen dollars won, and won't tell you how many losing tickets I put away except there were more than fifteen, by more than thrice. Since I am now aware of my failure to win at this benevolent government's game, I give the winning tickets to my wife for cashing in, that will put a smile on her face (even if I don't see it I will be happy in the knowledge). She will try to give me the money, I will tell her to keep it and take the two tickets she bought for the next drawing. We share well, even if money isn't the same for us in our minds or life.

Being semi-retired but working full time I can afford the foolish buying of Lotto tickets, but I wonder as I see people putting ten and more dollars into it and then decide it isn't my business and I should wish them well in all they do. For any that care, Mom, I still give more to the church in a month than I put in the Lotto tickets for the year, and I continue to fund my wife's IRAs and our lavish life style (okay, it isn't lavish but it is comfortable enough for our wants).

Gentlefolks, start your engines....

Looking for a reason to be alive and participate in Monday I find this, I also go and find

miltiary fiction geek out

and I don't play but I like having my mind tickled and I wonder why Matt Helm wasn't mentioned in the American group, but then I didn't notice Mike Hammer either. I can't have it all can I? I am so old. At church a beautiful young girl asked how I was, I answered I am just fine, I have finished High School and am waiting to graduate from life. Really, I do know what True Love is about, know what my personal goals are in life, how to get them, what is important, what is just in the way and needs to be ignored. I stopped after 'finished High School', she sighed and I didn't want her eyes to glaze over, she is so very nice to talk to an old guy and I had a motorcycle to ride on home.

I did talk to my mother yesterday, flurried emails with one sister, ducked the other sister and hope my brother has a good motorcycle trip (Denver to West Virginia) to visit Mom later this month, even talked a little with my son and daughter-in-law. But then nothing I am doing is critical, note worthy nor going to make me a better man. I read about a woman wondering why she couldn't find a decent boyfriend - and I figure it is the choices she makes. There is one decent man, eligible to become a boyfriend out there somewhere, I have faith and the certainty that variation of humanity rules. Oh, as I continue to withdraw from polite society and personal relationships - I did have a lovely time with my wife and the weekend and what I could do with her and for her, and that part of the weekend seems like went forever the little irritants were on another planet. I guess I am ready for Monday now. Y'all have a good one!

End of March, Tax Time... procrastination defeated

Don't you know that once a year one has to account for being a successful citizen of the United States of America - and file your income tax return. Why do I feel like I am being punished for being able to take care of myself and my family? Why is it difficult to read the tax booklets and figure the tax owed? Why is it easier to pay for someone else to take all your documents (that you must provide) and file the return, and the government takes that cost from your income, but you couldn't charge yourself for doing the same service? Why do I have to pay the postage, isn't that a government function?

Well, I went with TurboTax, not realizing what it was now costing me for the special edition to account for the stock sales and such. Easier not to sell the stock, but it was interesting to watch it grow for all those years a little at a time and split and change value, did have one loser, most gained and the government wanted their cut, sigh. See the Communist countries didn't have to worry about that, there are other ways to mess with their people. Anyway, I answered all the questions, put in all the numbers, and could have done it with the forms from the local Library and a sharp pencil, but then would have worried that my mind is going - how do they want that added and subtracted and multiplied by what? It is done, a very cute motivational tool, the income tax due in the upper left corner, as you add income it gets larger, as you find deductions it gets smaller - that was cool. I do owe this year, but less than three hundred dollars. It will all be in the mail on Wednesday. Then again the wonderful magnificent government is going to send us money in May for being way too thrifty - should I invest it in Euros?

I have created a ripple in the Harmony of the Universe, I said something about money to my wife and she wants to question where it all went. The idea there was secret money, and that she can do so much better than I - well, I don't want to play that game any longer. She gets to start writing the checks, she needs to know how to do that anyway for when I am gone (how many tax years do I have left?) - I will go so much earlier when she finds out that the cost of her world is more than she knew. But I am only responsible for making her life that worry free, not for the price of things and the declining value of the dollar, I just have done that manly thing of grabbing the check and paying for those things she feels she has to have. That was wrong of me - the truth doesn't hurt, but it does shatter many dreams and desires, but adults don't live out fairy tales - they just go to the library and read them... one shouldn't get confused.

Update, Sunday evening, I went back over the income tax form, found some thing that didn't match my calculations and went back over and put the correct date relationship into the form and now I get a refund, that makes me feel better, but I do like the forms and booklet better than just the computer software - since it walks you through everything like you aren't awake and aware. But it was a solid program, I just didn't see what it was asking for properly and mark it correctly. Be sure you are correct, then verify.

Blood pressure is lower today...

I check it daily, every morning and today it was good (or too low as my wife says) 103/64 and 97/67 - heart rate of 41 and 38 bpm. It was the wine last night? the medication? the motorcycle ride in the Sun? well, no prize if you guess my choice but it wouldn't be the first two. I seem to have lots on my plate, all undone and I keep piling more on to see how tall the pile of procrastination gets before it topples. Today on a conference call I volunteered to work with two other library keepers on a blog for our Institutional Library Services - which would be easy, except in the end it must be very professional and politically an asset, never a liability (bland?). I sometimes think politicians are completely surprised when they find they aren't perfect, nor perceived as perfect. I also mentioned in a local Homeowners meeting that the library has books on how to incorportate in Washington, so I got the assignment of getting the books we need to do that (the others don't go to libraries?). At the same time I picked up two new things to do, nothing dropped from what I need to get done - stress adaptation - keep piling it on. So by the end of the day I am farther behind in work flow. Today I lost one library clerk to getting a haircut, tomorrow I lose one to a visit, and no one came to get the job opening today although there were five names told to show up, only one did. And Friday is my day (only in my mind) to clean up and finish all that the week brought with it, will he make it?

Well, my plan is to do what I can and concentrate on the important stuff. Being really old so much that passes for things to worry about, I won't. Universal health care, I was in the military, my family and I had total health care - we never needed plastic surgery, brain surgery, nor (lucky me) did anything traumatic come along. But I had to participate, taking all shots when scheduled, eating the food provided when in operations, and physical fitness training five or more days a week (those candidates never talk about what to eat and how much exercise you will have to do under their guidance, and look out on smoking and drinking and UA's?). And scheduling appointments was interesting, since there were never the number of health care professionals to support the needs of the populations served (the purpose of the military is to break things and kill people when so directed by Congress and the President - healing is only an economy measure - for morale and cutting training costs for replacements). This is one of my not to worry abouts, Medicare is coming to save me - and why do I have to pay for something I am taxed for already? Don't worry about it, they know what they are doing.

The IRS thinks I don't have to pay taxes (or file them) for 2007, since they haven't sent my booklet and materials. I won't worry about that either unless I think they owe me - since they think they got over they are waiting for me to figure it out. With all their computers and staff and everyone reporting to them - they could do my taxes for me and send me something to check against. I will file, and keep the records and be happy about it - proves I still have just a bit of intelligence left to be able to do my own taxes, they don't make it easy because it would empower more independence in the citizen. April 15th is weeks away.

One thing I always noticed when I wandered in foreign countries - I never had to worry about the laws. They existed in the local language, and if I behaved, like my parents taught me, good manners got me through just fine. But there are people in all the different governments making new laws to cover whatever they hadn't thought about before. I can't worry about that, I don't have enough time to read them, obey nor break them, or be punished for them. Not going to lose sleep on that either.

I think I will ponder the Clintons as repeating Presidents... when is the daughter going to be thirty-five? Or should I look at the interesting French fellow with his fine lady, and think that an American wench from Orange County country could be President and publicly fool around better than the French (not in 2008, give us a few more years to get it right). Well, nothing even got my blood pressure to spike, so I will go read about the Boer War.