I vote NO, on almost everything to do with politics

I am not a fan of commercials on television, checking WWE and World News Tonight I find more time wasted trying to sell me something than the information or entertainment I am looking for gets broadcast. Okay, I normally live with that, but in the day of DVD, videos and great music - why am I putting up with it? So, I spend my time in wars gone by, the West like it never could have been and other fairy tales, then find I have to stop the show to take a break - seems I can't wait for the commercials that don't exist.

I am not really complaining about that so much as since it is political season - both, no - ALL sides are spending money trying to get me to fear, hate, love or not vote for or against someone or something. On real news the State Budget is cut again, timed perfectly for the election, couldn't wait until after - the new improved state income tax is on the ballot, along with more liquor and food taxes and many other things. Every side wants my attention, and I just want to quietly vote and keep them out of my home, away from my shooting, off of my cablevision, and out of my wallet. I am re-reading and studying Paul Revere's Ride by David Hackett Fischer, wondering how Paul would like the Boston that now sits on the bay.

Back on the road again, returning to normal...

Well, can't let the recliner win can I? I go out the door and down the road and onward, ever onward. I pass a marker for one of the layover points on the Oregon Trail, wondering what they thought of having gotten through the Cascades and other mountain to be in a forest of giant trees and millions of spiders. I also went by the Grey Hound rescue ranch - and was greeted by the current pack, they want me to run so they can race down the fence line laughing at me in my slow old man's shuffle. One day, one day we will visit that again. It is a good fast walk, waved at my wife driving off to work. Home to lunch and clean up, rifles this afternoon, then start the repacking of the car for the next Appleseed. As I finished the walk I spotted a green GI laying on the shoulder and picked him up, will use him as my Avatar on facebook. I am finally reading Terry Prachett's first disc world, and wondering why I haven't before - I like it.

So what have I been doing... glad you asked...

The recliner really is going to kill me, but instead of mindless stuff on the telly, I have been spending my last days reading "The Junior Officers Reading Club". Trying to hold back all the comparisons between the young man in England and one I once knew in America. It is a very nice book, and promotes reading well and often. I won't apologize here for the bad language, it fits where he used it and he wrote this and lived it - it isn't my story, this one was his. I am saving mine for, well, I am saving mine forever - some things just shouldn't be shared.

What is he grinning about?

This is Mike, shooting his AR that spits out Communist steel cored bullets at his slightest trigger squeeze. He shoots his last two rounds of the mag of five and turns and grins. I do know shooting is fun, but that grin is beyond fun. Must be a story here somewhere.

We are in Stevenson, Washington at the County gun range, an old quarry nestled among the tall trees. Near the end of the second day of shooting, this is the soaking wet day, and the shooting pads are soaking up only some of the cold water waiting for the next time the shooters have to get in the prone position. The number of shooters dwindles as time and cold encourage departures for warmer climes or at least idling autos with the heater on maximum. It is time for the shooting of the steel target at the 100 meter mark. So the warped by wet corregated cardboard target backers come down and the magazines are prept with five rounds. I give a quick class in the three challenges of a Rifleman (finding target, estimating range, taking the shot) while the shooters huddle under a canopy. Then one at a time the shooters go and load, take their shots at the swinging steel plate. Ladies first.

So, Emily steps up, with her 10/22 with optics, settles into her off hand position and with everyone watching her (seven instructors, four male shooters, one shooting son) squeezes off her first shot, clang! a hit! breath relax do it again, clang! a second hit! I could bore you with the repetition of the next three shots - but I won't. She hits them like this is how easy it is, five for five. I am happy, first time we have done this kind of target at this range, cold rain didn't affect this, the crew and shooters are excited and happy - it works, motivation had been seeping off in the soak. Next shooter, please.

Stepping up, loading up and taking the shot - a miss... and again, another miss - there is no clang, no shooter joy. Hmm, lots of people spotting, calling low left or right, finally a hit and a clang or two. Another shooter steps up, more misses, a clang, a shaking of their head. The gender demon raises up - remember it was a girl that showed them five for five, taunts of such are starting, it isn't as easy as she made it look, is it? Can any one of the remaining males match her score, please. I am laughing inside, love a good fight. Well, none of the male shooters matched her ability. BUT they want to, they can taste it, so....

when I ask if they would like to try another five rounds, they all agree and start preping the magazines. Emily doesn't have to, she can watch from the shelter of the canopy - her son and husband are two of those envious males. Well, the men rotate through shooting, getting better at spotting and sometimes hitting that steel, every clang counts, don't want defeated by a girl (it must be part of the DNA guys). Nope, not on the second mag of five, not on the third magazine of five. Finally, on about his fourth magazine of five, three clangs into his sequence I turn on the camera to catch the last two shots of Mike. In the background are the joyous noises of the male instructors and shooters counting the clangs, he is our last hope of victory. On that fifth hit, he turns and grins - a hero, our hero. What a guy!

Well, of course Emily had done it first, if she hadn't made it look so easy, if she had just missed one - but she set that bar too high. Well, the Shoot Boss didn't have any Rifleman patches to give out and he likes to close on a high note. So, he had something under his soaking wet shooting jacket and called Emily out in front of everyone that was hiding under the canopy. And after giving his camera to a competent operator, made a stirring speech about Emily's accomplishment. He then proudly whipped out a pink ballcap, with the Message "Shoot Like a Girl, if you can". Kind of said it all, doesn't it?

Am I not qualified? who? me?

I did go and shop and shoot, lovely rifle the M1 Garand, a lady with an AR and two gentlemen with scoped rifles came over to ask a bit about it. I don't really know that much, just my history with that fine rifle. I did start to shoot an AQT, the off hand and the cross legged sitting positions always my weakest so more practice. The prone is almost rock solid - I am so fat and gravity rules.

While I was preparing targets I found a notice that I have to take a classroom class and shoot a pistol at fifteen feet on the range to be qualified to use the pistol range. Don't think I voted for that, am sure that the instructor isn't better than I, am sure that some fool will not still do something stupid on the pistol range anyway, one day. But it is a reasonable idea to see if all the shooters can shoot safely, isn't it? If you have doubts, make the shooters pay for a Range Safety Officer to watch them shoot. Really...

The cost of not preparing for the next war...

I am going shooting my M1 today, and I have some supplies to get for this weekend's Appleseed. I really do talk too much about Appleseed, and last night I found out I am a Designated Shoot Boss, not as cool as Senior or Master Instructor (they instruct instructors) but I can bring Instructors into the Shoot Boss position, and share my experiences and the rites of passage.

Over and over as I look at President Obama's War in Afghanistan, no matter what Bob Woodward wrote, I think we need to take our Marksmanship Units from the military, our top High Power shooters and instructors from the NRA, CMP, and volunteers to Afghanistan to teach long range rifle marksmanship, really. But it isn't something generals like, even colonels and majors would have doubts. I think Captains and the soldiers would like it, but does anyone listen to them - they can't even testify to Congress without special blessings. I also think we need to have more long range rifles in the hands of the troops, it is a long range Rifleman's war. IEDs are most effective against American ground mobility that isn't based on boots on the ground, but once the Americans dismount, spread out (disperse) and walk - IEDs and mines don't work as well. I share an article about it from the folks that have been there.
A Rifleman's War from Small Wars Journal. The PDF is worth reading.

Brown Bess at its Best

Ferguson Rifle at King's Mountain

Firing Ferguson rifle battle speed

Ferguson Rifle, not Fraser...

I was getting my dead British officers (from our Revolutionary War) confused so went looking for information on Google to find the correct answer. Found it and extra cool stuff at the same time. So there are three tales of young Major Ferguson and his fine breach loading flintlock rifle, first person account and history of rifle from a black powder shooter (sorry couldn't find his name), the second worth reading is from Wikipedia (and you get what you pay for), and the last and to me the most interesting because of the General Howe may have been more friend than enemy story (author is given credit in article). And for real information transfer a video, next blog post. By the way, both General Fraser and Major Ferguson were killed in battle by American riflemen.

I am almost one of Washingtons Most Wanted...

Seems that someone, with something close to my name, has been HEREBY COMMANDED to appear in Pierce County District Court Number 1. Shucks, I thought we got rid of that commanding stuff once I left the Army, or when we won the Revolution against His most Royal Majesty King George the Third. I have been wrong before, could be again. There really are folks that know they are better than I, they can drive drunk get caught and not suffer much (judges and prosecutors in some places). Ah, well, they can be so wrong, too. May all our sins be very small.

I seem to be at the orders of the Deputy Prosecuting Attorney, a fine member of the WSBA, for the Plaintiff, the fine State of Washington (which didn't exist when my ancestors left Europe). Oh, I am supposed to give evidence against or about someone whose name I do not recognize - I am really bad on remembering one's name, really.

So I get my mileage and ten dollars per day that I have to show up, will bring my Concealed Carry Weapon, just so I have to lock it up on my way into the Courthouse - so cool. For those that read Zeke and Ned, you can imagine what will happen if I didn't. I do have some idea of what it is all about, maybe, will just try to be helpful.

It's Friday? where did the week go...

Watching Korea get ready, and even depart, for Chusok, the three day Harvest holiday. This year it is the 21, 22, 23 of September, but since it is already Saturday on the other side of the Pacific they are grabbing all the food, gifts and goodness and heading back to the homestead, the cities kind of empty, the highways, trains and buses are packed, and family and traditions will rule for this time. Our telephone bill will go up, and my wife has pictures of the grandson to send to her sister for sharing.

The rains are becoming constant, the sky almost always gray and although it is great to sleep to it does make me most unproductive. I did put my teeth in and shaved today - after five days the growth is interesting but not worthy.

I have been thinking of the Fall Flowers, in Spring there seem to be so many, but in the Autumn as we wait for the leaves to change the flowers that we get seem lonely, lovely but lonely. So I went out to shoot some of them for your benefit, and found a busy bee getting the last of the pollen. There haven't been many around and this one is welcome, the flower won't mind a little tickling. I am always amazed by my wife's green thumb, the house plants really do well outside, until it gets a bit colder, then they come in with us as we hunker down through the Winter, mild but still worth missing on most days -- fast forward to the interesting parts?

Check your Ego at the door...

I guess, not being too smart, that when someone says my ego is getting in the way - they might be right. I have heard the comments about ego, and id (no one really cares about poor ol' id, do they?). Heavens, I studied something about it while in college classes. But now I have to think - that common knowledge is that EGO = inflated sense of self worth.

Back to the books folks, it isn't that easy, but that is why life is like a puzzle - the piece only looks like it could fit there, smashing it flatter doesn't make it so. Ego without which I have only id, and I really don't do well on it (id).

Reality and dreams, Liberty and subject to rulers...

Lots of dreams last night, running roads while in the military on top of everything. Tony McNally has a poem he shares on Facebook, I have the book by Mark Urban, Fusiliers, and have little patience with politicians that want to save a buck and dump unit history and traditions to save a little money elsewhere. I like telling about the difference Redcoats because the British officiers bought their coats at tailors and from their own pocket, while the enlisted men had the government issue (lowest bidder sound familiar?). I use the Red Hats of our Appleseed instructors, which after two to four Appleseeds in the blazing Sun fade so well to a pinkish brown, and the strong red of the Instructor sweatshirts that don't seem to fade no matter how many times washed.



The glow of the Waterman, Illinois 300 is about over - it was some event. Since the Revolutionary War Veterans Association is such a tiny organization it was interesting to see them try to get to 300 shooters at one Appleseed on one weekend. The best part was getting together all those Red Hat instructors, orange hatted IITs, and the new Blue Hat support crew to make it happen and they all get to put real faces with the Forum Handles and avatars that may have little relationship to the real person. I have met some of the fine people that went and did a great job there, since I took that motorcycle adventure and made some Appleseed events across the country, I know that there are very fine folks everywhere, that like to shoot and want to spread the History of our Heritage that we might not remember today. They will be putting together videos and keep pushing the Appleseed across the country. On that same weekend that the Waterman 300 was going on, which had 200 shooters on Sunday and produced at least nine Riflemen (I am sure there should be more) there were twenty-two other Appleseeds in smaller venues across the nation. Ten of them have reported their participation and results; 218 shooters and 36 Riflemen made. At every Appleseed - the quality of the instruction is great, the telling the story of our Heritage is stirring and some life long friendships started or strengthened. Something to think about in the Rock Star age - how do you like music? blaring at football stadiums, in darker quiet lounges, in the peace of your home? Once the nation sang at home, and played instruments, as part of their entertainment - now they sit on the recliner and watch productions... hmm, where did we go wrong? Oh, you still play music at home and don't own a television, good for you!

The picture is from Old Glory, member of the Revolutionary War Veterans Association, and shamelessly shared for those of you that don't click on links to go off on tangents you never woke up for this morning.

It isn't done until the paperwork is done...

Or, if it isn't written down, then it never happened. I go into my rest period when I return from far flung Appleseeds, trying to recover my powers of thought and strength of body. Or, that is my excuse for having done so little yesterday. No dreams on Sunday night, lots of dreams last night, and I get up at three because my mind is whirling and wants closure. The After Action Reports, Internal and Public are done, the Promotion recommendation for the Progress Checks has been emailed off, I have my cash to turn in with the Shoot Boss form and I will be done today, and I will ride the Trusty Triumph around in the afternoon getting those little loose ends tied up. The Caravan gets topped off, cleaned up and repacked for the next Appleseed. I already have ordered that Shoot Box and have two IITs looking for a chance to help run the line. Good to have my replacements stepping up. Tomorrow more job search and shooting, job search first then the shooting. Back to bill paying and paperwork clean up, thank you for visiting today. Now, as my one sister would say, do something fun!

Okay, it was 9/11 everywhere yesterday...

It was noticed as the shooters signed in for the Appleseeds yesterday, but they weren't glued to their televisions watching old footage and memories, they were going out to learn how to shoot better. Now I was at a little old Appleseed, 37 preregistered, 33 showing up to do their best. In Illinois, land of Lincoln and Mayor (soon to retire) Daley at some place named Waterman, there was a monster Appleseed, called the Appleseed 300. The Appleseed 300, looks like one larger than life fun time had by all. The famous "Fred" was there, lots of Revolutionary War Veterans Association Red Hats (instructors) and Orange Hats (instructors in training), many of them fine folks and families that I have met while I have been wandering on the Appleseed trail, most of which can shoot better than I. They are going into day two this morning, because of the time zone difference they will be getting their first rounds off about the time I find breakfast.

The flame fanning media dwelt upon the potential danger of book burning in Florida, missed us all together. The commander in Afghanistan worried about reaction to our media and the safety of our troops -- or so the media reported. I think the General knows that the troops were in danger when they got in uniform, ask those dying at Fort Hood is you don't believe me. He probably wanted to say that the fools back home might be more of a problem than the enemy in front, behind and all around us here, Afghanistan is hostile territory. American military is not a permanent answer to their or our problems, nope.

I don't have an answer to how we keep the world from hating our image, our SuperPower pretensions, our exploitation of their riches and just plain arrogance -- we could tell them to get over it. Or put a Maple Lead flag on our backpacks and pretend we are the well mannered nicer Canadians from Norte America. I do know that we have to find a real core belief to wrap our lives around, we have to study it, build on it and improve it and our lives. I also know that it isn't found in a pill, the nightly news, or any of the talking heads on the HDTV, most of our literature is weak, our art corrupt and our strength imaginary... but I shouldn't give up, I do know several great Americans - living, working, worshipping and in charge of their piece of peace on Earth, actually more than I want to count, just none of them are on our cultural radar... good for them.

Go out and do some good old Liberty loving stuff today: worship, love, shoot, ride your motorcycle and lean into it and roll on that throttle.

Blond and on TV, dreams don't go there...

Surfing I caught O'Reilly talking to a blond, no news there, about a man shooting his AK47 in town. The blond was sure the children should have been protected (woman's job) instead of the man arming himself and going out to confront the angry Hispanics in his drive (man's job). When he came out with his weapon he did fire it into the ground and the air(?). The shot detector devices found him and reported to the police, who arrested him for shooting in the town. The only reason I mention the story is that the blond was really upset that he had armed himself and gone back out to get the angry folks off his property. She still believes the police will arrive in time, no one can defend themselves, hiding will save you if you don't move and the idea of arming oneself is CRIMINAL! I wasn't there, can't tell what was right or wrong, but do know that I would have taken cover, armed and prepared to disengage boarders with well aimed fires. If there is a follow up some day, you may find that home the target of gang graffiti and drive by shooting, or the family may have moved out to a friendlier area without shooting detectors (a new thing to look for when buying or renting?).

In my life, dreams: not about bubbly blonds, but air filters - cleaning and putting back in with a twist, military maintenance, working in the field, running the roads, taking orders, changing plans, shooting.... seemed to be all night, one dream after another and I was waking up worn out and tired - but very happy since I had been strong and important again. So, up and at'em!

After some prep for tomorrow's Appleseed in Eagle Creek, WA (side bar), and breakfast and my wife's admonishment and five red ginseng extract pills (it'll make a man out of you) I go for a jog, a most gentle jog. I did have to wait for my wife to leave. I picked up the hand weights and took off for 44 minutes of gentle jogging. And came back alive and in good spirits, because there was no feeling of not enough air although I did breathe deeply and often, it was all good. Now a shower, packing the Caravan out and more work for telling the story of April 19th, 1775. I told myself all three strikes and the three DOM stories while I ran, as well as thought about the lessons and teaching we will be doing tomorrow.

Men sending messages to my wife...

I am not really a jealous man, remembering when I was about to really beat somebody badly, but it would have taken a while except he saw ugly in my eyes and we shifted to diplomacy. Normally we could have had a good fight then shared a beer after, but he had stepped over the line and wanted to cross back.

Yesterday's mail had an envelope from President Barack Obama, inside were three pages of print, and a picture, on the back of the picture was the important message:

President Barack Obama cannot defeat the Republicans without your support of the DNC. Please help the DNC keep up the momentum for change.

Paid for by the Democratic National Committee, www.democrats.org . This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

Photo copyright Brooks Kraft/Corbis

Well, I will have to work hard to make sure my wife doesn't help since defeating the Republicans wasn't on our list of things to do. She already tossed the suggested donations paperwork. Defeating other political parties is really the function of the other political parties. The remainder of the world has more important things to do, like make sure the family is loved today.

It is interesting to know that my wife, and they got her name wrong, is the reason that the President can't defeat the Republicans, I know she is that good but didn't think I had let it out of the house. And I don't know many Republicans I would vote for today, so they are on that pile of Democrats I don't know I would vote for today --- hmmm, do you think they have trouble getting my favorable attention? because they do what I don't like or don't do what I want?

We will be voting about two weeks before the rest of the State, over coffee and breakfast, absentee works if you aren't deployed in the service of your nation and the local political party thinks you are a danger to their little election empire. One day most of this state will be absentee mail in vote.

What to do if you don't like the way it is...

I am sure I got over being less than rich and handsome when I was much younger, I got a job and earned money and just didn't bother the young ladies. But this recent being less strong and healthy, well, I don't like it - my son has a word for it, but I won't use it, I just don't like it. Weak, and I have been sick before, but always seem to be thinking I was going to get better and back to normal. Age seems to be slowing that recovery process down. I did get my family doctor an x-ray of my chest but haven't heard since but finally decided that the rain wasn't going to lock me into the house I went out.

I did have my Appleseed Shoot Box delivered to my front porch, UPS Ground, there is everything inside I needed to include the Revolutionary War Flag set. Now I can look like the cool Shoot Bosses everywhere else.

I had a Stevens target rifle I needed to set the sights on, and pretend I still remembered how to shoot. It is a single shot so, it shouldn't be too taxing - (speaking of which President Barack Obama sent my wife mail today - hmm, I haven't bothered his family). Anyway, I went to the range and set my targets up, got the cheap Remington .22LR out, and started to see if I remembered all six steps in taking the shot. Especially the follow through on the trigger finger.

I did about seven shots without a sling, sighed and went and found an old 1907 pattern one, cheap leather must have been made in China. Put it on the rifle then on me, adjusted it twice and settled back into shooting. Two constants in my mind, WR waiting for my happy finger, and Junior Birdman saying don't fuss the shot. I measured my drop and left, then went back to the rifle to figure out which way what turned, and guessed about how many clicks were for Minutes of Angle. The deflection was wrong way, I did it again and doubled the error, so went the other way and hit black barely, minor correction and then put five on another sighting square. Okay, except for the one that went a bit left I was ready for practical application of rifleman, rifle with proper settings and target.

So I shot a Redcoat target, and I did just fine, still not shooting up to the rifle, but I hit all the targets properly. When one can quit a winner, one should. Take a picture since there were no witnesses to the achievement. I can continue to prepare for this weekend's Appleseed, if I can do it, I should be able to teach it - no matter how weak I feel. I wonder how upset Samson was when Delilah cut his hair? Being weak ........ it just isn't right.

I am not myself, so WWJD?

Watching the World News doesn't help heal me, but I did catch that some Preacher in Gainesville is going to burn the Koran, or bunches of them. And he was so certain sure, when asked by the News Reporter, what would Jesus Do? That Jesus would burn the Koran, too.

Well, the preacher is wrong, and burning Korans or protesting Mosques near Ground Zero (when did it become Holy ground?) isn't at all what Jesus would do, nor what he directed done to one's enemies. If you want to get the entire Moslem world upset and afraid of you, then organize world wide prayers for the saving of their souls, especially their suicide martyred ones. Get every Christian to pray daily for the Salvation of their Muslim brothers in their evil stupidity. Just add them to the daily list that you cover. Self, loved ones, family, friends, business acquaintances, strangers, and most definitely all your enemies - pray very hard for those still trying to destroy you and do good to them. Of course, remembering that the National Leadership was afraid of displays of the Christian Cross, drinking alcohol, and waving the American Flag as we kicked Iraqi butts in the first Gulf War, I am sure that our President would not be in favor of a real Christian gesture of offering the support by prayer of saving those souls that did such evil on September 11.

I have enough on my plate to pray about, adding my enemies has always been there, probably why they missed me so much. Anyway, there won't be any reporters coming to see me about this idea, not contrary enough to get one to watch commercials on the evening news.

Movie Review....

The American is on, and doesn't take a pile of money, 3D glasses nor thought to see. It is a very nice almost beautiful movie about lonely, fear, fools and friends. Too much of the first three and certainly less than I on the last. It is rated R, deserves most of that rating, has no humor, lovely European accents and lusty women. Since I don't know much about that business I thought it should have a disclaimer about not trying any of this at home, but that would have been too funny. More sex than I can handle at my advanced age, but still discounting that I thought the movie was beautiful and very sad, so it worked. It is not a date movie, but I don't go to those anyway.

Okay, one point of hidden humor, you can order an American in most coffee shops in Europe.

Not important but just an opportunity...

I have an Appleseed at Eagle Creek, Oregon on the 11th and 12th of September and have only two instructor slots filled. This is a great time to travel on your dime and work with Earl, since there are thirty-seven of the forty slots filled in pre-registration.

It is a very nice facility, and we are trying to build Oregon up.

If I had written a book I would offer to sign it if you showed up, but I don't so I can't, but I will miss y'all. I have sent some emails and posted about the shoot on the Appleseed Forum, hope that some help arrives, kind of like wagon train surrounded by Zulu Impi while on Trek. Not a pretty sight.

Don't have anything to offer about the end of Civilization...

But I ran across the invasion and conquest of portions of the United States of America, which also ties in with the President's people attacking the law enforcement agencies, and state government of Arizona for trying to do their job, since the United States seems to be negotiating a peace treaty with the invading forces. I wonder what an oath means now, I remember taking one every time I enlisted in the military, it still means something to me.

Well, I ain't dead yet...

Lovely public Library in Yelm, Washington. I start my day by going too early to McKenna to the Gunshop to pick up my Stevens Target Rifle, have to wait 'til eleven, sigh. Go to Yelm to find a bookstore, but there are a lot of empty stores, even in Yelm. So, I walk slowly around the area that says there is a Library in it. Found it, and have to wait for them to open, ten of course. Walking around never hurt me.

I did really enjoy the emergency room visit yesterday, in by nine out by two. Lots of blood drawn, chest x-rays, talked to medic, nurse and three doctors, then stopped for antibiotics on my way out. Oh, what am I having trouble with, well, pneumonia of course, my left lung is full of it. On my right lung is a nodule that needs x-rayed in 3-6 months down the road, questions about my smoking history, questions about swelling of the legs, questions about blood clots from legs going to lungs (?), lots of questions. Through it all I was really pleased to be constantly hooked up and monitored by the machines -- except my heart rate is normally slower than they set the machine for and every time it dropped below fifty beats per minute it did set the alarm off, the nurse finally came in to ask what it was normally and reset it. Anyway, do go visit the medical folks if you have questions about your health that you didn't get from watching Oprah, Dr Oz or the medical commercials surrounding the evening news. OH, very important! Questions to avoid if it doesn't have anything to do with your health investigation: Have you had Domestic Violence, Depression or any major mood swings? Especially in a Federal Hospital.


I was really thinking of timing how much time is spent (WASTED!) around the new programming. At exactly 5:26 the local news stops and tells you to rejoin them at six after the Network evening news. The Network News comes on exactly at 5:30. There are four minutes you could be exercising or something. Just mentioning it.

It is FEAR, stupid, the problem is the fear....

Just looking around and I heard that the economy isn't getting better fast enough, even the President's spending on his Oval office decor hasn't stimulated the economy enough, and the computer cave here may be overdue for a clean up and reorganization, Earl is not spending any money to do it. What has slowed the economy is fear, if you have work and a job you aren't sure that it will always be there. If you are currently un-employed you aren't sure you can get a job, the bankers aren't lending money from fears of no more bailouts and and bad loans might cost them. Investors aren't investing as much as normal, businesses aren't putting their profits back to work in growing bigger, hiring new employees or other improvements. Seems like everyone is waiting for the fear to go away.

An email conversation with someone about guns, and my idea we need to expand the safe sane experience, and his that a gun is dangerous and accidents with it can't be undone. In the end his fear of failure means that the government should get more control over how and when a person can use a firearm and that will make us all safer. He fails to realize the government already controls food, drugs, illegal drugs, immigration and terrorism - and the government seems to be only effective in controlling the law abiding, none of the insane, criminal, stupid or just a little foolish. If I get to increase the number of safe sane shooters I have done nothing to make the world more un-safe, Hurricane EARL is still out there, Mount Rainier is overdue and California can always slide into the Pacific.

It isn't in the news much anymore, but the idea that the government can make sex safer is as good as they can make a gun safer. The government can launch education efforts, monitor approved sexual activity between approved adults, and immediately all kinds of problems are gone. No more sexually transmitted diseases, no more HIV AIDS, no more unwanted pregnancy, only perfectly safe sane sexually activity. Yep, there are people no longer having sex, that wonderful phase on commercials "Check with your doctor to see if you are healthy enough for sexual activity." Could be there are lots of married folks no longer doing it, because the idea of someone dying during that moment of passion is a building fear not needed to be faced.

I recently feared that I had a mild heart attack, I can't jog gently, just wasn't enough air getting circulated and so I walked home. Rested, went back out days later and walked, some days vigorously, most days just sucking air. Something was wrong, I had coughing that wasn't caused by anything I could feel or find. So I went to my doctor, and he checked me and decided I had an allergy, gave me some medicine to take and told me not to have a heart attack. Well, I have a big strong heart, and a piece of it could die - I would expect it to keep pumping and it is. But I don't get all the oxygen to everywhere I want it to go, so is something restricting my air supply? What is wrong? -- I am sure I am going for a second opinion on the heart/lung thing, I just want to know. I watched Doctor OZ one afternoon, and he said creases in the earlobe are an indication that one could have a heart attack soon. I have a really great crease in each ear lobe - if I feared enough I would have to face it and go see another doctor, but I can cower at home and pretend it is going to go away (more fear of finding out and having to do something).

My wife and I tussle over her fears of my activities - when I was younger writing to other women was a potential point of contention - I got to stop writing to all of them. Sigh, more recently I was called by the NRA to find out if I would apply to instruct at a special NRA event for women in the Southwest. I was flattered and got the application together, letters of recommendation and such. I was ready to go, even if the State of Washington didn't need my services I still had something to contribute. Then my wife said "NO", and it was over, I don't need to go into all the reasons, but she was sure that it wasn't a good thing for me to do. As soon as she said no, I sent off my regrets about a previous engagement conflict, and waited for her to change her mind, she hasn't.

Today she started on my again, I think she feels my weakness, and decided it is time to discuss and get me to stop going out on the weekends to Appleseed shooting events away from home. There aren't any Appleseed events close to home, she likes me to make Sunday Church service and other husbands aren't like me.... I could go on, but when I leave the house - something could happen to me, I could fall asleep while driving long distances, I could get shot, I might have a heart attack at a distant motel and how would she go get the body, in the end all her fears are on the table and I ignore them at my peril - gosh, she could just kill me if I don't pay attention to her fears of my dying far away. The problem isn't the Appleseeds, but that activity feeds her fear of something bad, something that would make her strange or unloved by the community of her friends - whose husbands don't do those things.

Yep, fear is good if it makes you aware, but not if it freezes all positive activity, a little too much fear doesn't go a long way - it stays in focus in one's mind and builds...